tea & sympathy

   I need someone to tell me that they love me; that I am such a grand girl, etc. Fat Tuesday is, alas, over. Lent has begun. I foolishly (adverb alert) gave up sugar, honey AND carbs all at once. And I never go back on a Lent. I need some definate cheering up. In exchange, I shall send you the beautiful picture all this will create at the, well, at the end of fuckin' Lent. (sorry Jesus. I know it ain't Jesus, it's the effin' catholic church, no offense intended to any nice catholic peoples out there. You make nice goth art: I've seen it in Europe. but when I give up something, I give it up to Jesus, cuz, you know, if He can die for me, what's a lil' ol' ice cream, eh?)

   Man, I was a fool. but I (heh heh) had a ball last night and yesterday afternoon eating a half gallon of Breyers neopaliton ice cream and a half of a half of a gallon of Breyer's natural vanilla. and you know what, I even left some in the cartons. Not that i couln't have eaten it. You betcha I could have eaten it all, but there is such a thing as gluttony, I've read my Dante. That's the kind of Lent girl I am. If I say I will do suchnsuch, I will do it. I quit cigarettes, alcohol and cocaine this way. Oh, yeah, and adultry. Snap o' the fingers and poof! It's gone, 'nother sin down the drain.

   This all started in 1980 when my then Irish Catholic good friend Dennis F. lived with my husband and oldest son (no, I never had adultry with him; though he would have liked to very much.) I was a very hot number and since he was an artist, he painted me many times to compensate for lack of doing the funky chicken with me. Well, one Fat Tuesday we were sittin' around, smoking a fat one, porque no? And Dennis rapped to me, "Say, who's the most sinless person you know?" and after thinking awhile,a long while, I decided Robert, the retarded man who collects cans and bottles around town to earn his candy money. Mind you, this man was at the time in his late thirties, but he was probably about ten in his mind, without the intellectual insight of Scout Finch. I had to call him on his choice, because I was once on the local transit bus going from my town to the county seat which is twenty miles or so away and he also rides the bus to his vocational school  and he had his usual bottle collecting bag with him.  As he was getting on the bus, he spied three cans on the grass. There was no way he could get all three cans into his bag and carry his school books. It wasn't possible, therefore, as Dante would say, I caught him out on greed. Alas, we knew, Dennis and I,  that the only true sinless person in the world, was in fact, Christ Himself and that was that. I took another big toke, because I had planned on giving up pot for Lent the very next day and Dennis was helping me enjoy myself. Dennis always said he was gonna give up something, but never quite finished. That, I repeat, that does not make me a better person than he. That's not my style, I just brought it up, because he was a good brother to help me out with the drug consumption. My husband of the time, always gave up marshmallows because he hated them anyway. Week-kneed, weak-kneed, I always said. He knew it, so it's not like i'm bad-mouthin' him here. i mean, most people like marshmallows, but you would have to truly love them to give them up for such a long time, which is why you never catch me doing it: I love my Peeps (tm).

   So, this isn't a real essay of which I am actually writing a book of at the moment, not THIS moment, but these days in general, but rather a plea for some love, a little friendship, even a "rah-rah-rah" for the sake of a good friend. Because, you see, I really don't want to cheat. I have to go to the store tomorrow and buy food that has no carbs in them. Does such a thing exist except celery and cream? Woman cannot live by cream alone...even if it is in de-caf chai...isn't it kinda like a virgin mary without the vodka,tomato juice or lemon wedge? Hold the ice.