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robin_rule

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Just Another Priestess [Aug. 27th, 2008|12:46 am]
robin_rule
(for Hazel-Shea and Sam)


I grew up on stories of Sharon Doubiago
when I was a child-bride at nineteen
listening to Barry Eisenberg
call her the most beautiful woman in the world.
Now at 28, having a sorrow-packed miscarriage,
I am strapped to the bed for at least 48 hours
by a country doctor with a bottle of brandy
and a copy of Hard Country
which soaks my heart as deep vermillion
as my underpanties.

"Descendent of the most beautiful woman in Ducktown,
she wrote amd makes me see in this spilled blood
the faces of my own ancestors
weeping their Irish masks and my other half
belly-laughing their alcohol-dancing Indian heads
flung back at the stars and his unknown Swedish half.

i wonder what my face looked like
before my parents borned me...
I wonder what this dead baby's face
was gonna look like:
which one of the ancestors
would have risen from the grave
and made the lines in the palm of the hand
tell new fortunes I take back all I cast off
I want to know the relatives in the blacknwhite photos
in the books back home
even if I don't like their politics.

And the spilled blood of the unseen child
fell at first drop by drop then torrential
onto the asphalt parking lot
where the bus drops off oldest boychild from school
--it was the same exact place where two days before
that first child and I found dead
but still warm young sparrow
which I carried home in cupped hand
and we buried in then plaster of paris statue
of Mary mother of Emmanuel.
It's now I cry to that mother,
now it's one mother to another insisting,
But I grew his eyes within,
even though it was too early to have made eyes or fingernails
or anything but a faint steady heartbeat
the color of the Hard country life.

After coming home from the clinic
i spent long night staring in the dark bedroom;
the wall next to the window was painted by the moon
with the thin branches that showed up in black streaks
like the blood vessels inside the eyeballs
when you rub the lids hard against the retina
to stop the tears and in my mind
I saw Denis Flemming's painting of 4 or 5 bums
huddled around the trashcan in southside Chicago
and the emptiness on their faces is like my belly.

Like one too many gray misshapen river stones
the lies of modern medicine sit heavy below the belly
as a sweat-soaked blood-stained rag.
there are drugs to prevent miscarriages.
they cause cancer in the daughters.
there are fertility drugs
which cause more than one soul
to journey to earth through the birth canal.
We don't need them.
there are drugs for everything except the sorrow
of losing the unborn child.
Just another priestess says,
There is no drug or lobotomy to cure mysticism.



Robin Rule, from "Porch Language",
poems from award-winning book
California Arts Council in Literature for 1989
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: curiouswombat
2008-08-27 10:00 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. I am always fascinated to find wonderful pieces of poetry on LJ that I would not, otherwise, have encountered.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: robin_rule
2008-08-27 05:58 pm (UTC)
thank you. it's kinda hard and weird to beback,. i have a blog somewhere else. but wonderleafy let me know hazel-shea had themiscarriage and having had six, my heart went out to her and i wanted to share. i wrote her a long letters. sometmes women gotta share in otrder to heal.
Robin
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[User Picture]From: chocolatebark
2008-08-27 02:03 pm (UTC)
Good to read this!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: robin_rule
2008-08-27 06:01 pm (UTC)
thanks barky! missed you. i've been blathering somewhere else and getting ready to move again: a guy is making me a set up as close to a website as he can for NOW and then we plan to do that too.but i wanted to let hazel know that i was there for her if she wanted. how R you? still writing?

Robin
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[User Picture]From: chocolatebark
2008-08-27 07:31 pm (UTC)
Eh, writing a little -- I've been preoccupied with life more--August has been a pretty transitional month, and I'm back to work very shortly so I'm going to be distracted. Moving as well (should be finished by Saturday) so yeah, there's a lot on my plate. Hope your move goes well!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: hazel_shea
2008-08-27 11:27 pm (UTC)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx thank you so much Robin, for this and for you message. I will email when I have my thoughts straight and can write properly. I have been thinking of you, glad you are ok.

Thank you xxxxxx
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: createdestiny
2008-08-28 04:46 am (UTC)
Beautiful and heartbreaking. I've missed you and am thrilled to read your words again.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: robin_rule
2008-08-28 08:26 am (UTC)
i answered you chiclet girl, but i don't know where it went. i have never forgotten you
(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2008-10-07 10:02 am (UTC)

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thanks for the insightful role, round toilet water, i be partial to d&g underweight blue

http://healthcareexcellenceforum.com/story.php?title=cheap_jlo_perfume
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: karow
2008-10-09 09:17 pm (UTC)
Astounded to click on an old link and find new words here...I've missed you!

I hope this means a return?

Please?

alan
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[User Picture]From: robin_rule
2008-10-10 08:04 am (UTC)
alan! no, i'm not returning, but someone told me about hazel and my heart just went out to her. i have a friend who is setting up a different kind of blog for me which i would be happy to let you have the address to when i get it. it is geared more to writing and music with poetry which is something i have been doing for twenty years. i had my ass kicked so many times by this friend that i finally gave in and said, "go ahead, but i'm only sending you poems, MP3s of my own work, photos and once it's up and running, i'll write in it and add poetry and my poems with various musicians. he seems to think i ought to get rich & famous, but i explained, 'poets are america's poorest paid laborors"
thanks for the kind words and wanting to reconnect. i will do my best...

yrs in ink, robin
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[User Picture]From: kathleenwinter
2009-01-23 05:20 am (UTC)
Hi Robin Rule,
I've been away too - when you get your new blog will you let me visit?
I'm in Montreal now.
Poetry is swelling back with the new tide into the normal life of us all and I'm glad.
I brought your little Japanese purse to my new secret chamber.
I love your poem here.
Love.
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2011-02-15 05:36 pm (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: raingirl26
2016-06-26 04:57 pm (UTC)

not a comment to this post - but birthday wishes

you may not come here anymore - i know i am absent a lot - but still i wish to send happiness to you through this avanue as it is a place of community and you are part of mine.

i did not realize for so many years that so many wonderful things happened on this day. i'm so grateful that you are one of them.

happy birthday dear friend!
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